Yesterday was rough. The night before, my insomnia was at its worst. I think I finally fell asleep around 4am and woke up at 6:30am. Yikes. Not how I wanted to start the last day of 2018. I had ideas of things to do. A grand way to end the year. Instead, I cleaned and snuggled my pups all day. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because it was gloomy and rainy and what else would I want to do besides cuddle my pups?
2018 flew by for me. I am shocked that it’s already over. It seems like it just began. Honestly, I didn’t even do much in 2018. Only two big things come to mind. I adopted Toby and I started a new job. Otherwise, last year was just making it through each day. Which, I guess, is an accomplishment itself. I feel like it was one of my worst years for my depression. I didn’t necessarily feel sad, but I felt…nothing. I was just here. I didn’t want to do anything. So, I suppose making it through to the end is a big deal.
I don’t want to make goals for 2019. I never follow through with goals or resolutions. I forget about them. Instead I’m just going to focus on two big things this year (aside from loving my pups).
I’m going to be the best version of myself. I don’t know what this means yet. It could be more self care, focusing on my relationships, working out more, being kinder, being more aware of my mental health, finding my faith again, loving harder...I don’t know, yet. But, I’m going to spend the next 365 days figuring it out and working on it. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes along the way, but that’s part of the journey.
Less is more. I want to stop spending money on things just to have them or just because I want something. I already have everything I need. Instead I’m going to focus on moments and memories. I just made my last purchase of 2018 yesterday morning. I am hoping 2019 will be all about needs and less about wants. I don’t think I will make it the entire year without buying something I want and don’t need, but I am sure going to try.
I have this feeling in my soul that 2019 is going to be an amazing year for me. I truly hope all of you had a wonderful end to your 2018. Today starts a brand new chapter. Make it your best one yet.
Happy New Year.